Office Office...

Yesterday I felt good.. a mere responsibility was on my head but i felt very good when i was in the office as according to me i able to fulfill my job and that too in a good manner and whenever you will able to do what you have ever just thought then you feel good and same i felt.

In a job you life or in any life you see lot of Ups and Down, sometimes you feel that you are a person of different caliber and sometimes you feel like that you are none for nothing.. When i entered in the office yesterday i know i had little bit more responsibility than usual days, little bit i felt the same when i was representing here alone from my team  as till now we used to be two members from our team but yesterday's feeling was much better than that feeling, i still don't know why but when i was chairing the workstack call and only i had to reply to everyone queries as all senior members from my team was not in the office yesterday.

If i have to choose my best day of onsite tenure then yesterday's day was on the top of the list.. From the time i wake up i just wanted to be in the office.. was there in the office at 8 45 an from the moment i entered in the office and till the time i left(5 30), it was just memorable.

When i went for the sleep yesterday then i realized how good i felt and at that moment i thought that blog should be written on that experience :)

ahhh wat a change over mama!!!!

Sometimes you feel regret what you had done, same happening with me. Not want to do but it just happened. Cant able to control my anger.. During that moment of heat I just say whatever comes in my mind.. Later i realize that i should not have to say all those things but now i cant do anything.. Words are like bow when once it will come out of your mouth then you have to face consequence may be in a good or bad way.

I was in very bad mood then I started listening songs, and now I am in totally a different world.. Sometimes good music just change your state of mind. I love listening to some good songs.. I started with some random songs.. and then I started listening “Why this Kolaveri di??”.. and then the list goes on and after some moment I listened subah hone na de(Updated on FB).. at that time my mood was changing.. then I listened some more and then after some moment I started a song Aar mein kahoon from Lakshya and i felt so good during that time I started writing this blog.. and now feeling something different..  J

Still I don’t know till when I have to stay here.. Have to write my all the experiences and what I had done here but just waiting for the day when I will fly from here and one day before I will write all those bakwas and stupid moments which was saved on my laptop…

Time to make dinner.. and again listening to why this Kolaveri di!!!!!

P.S.- Title of this blog i am copying from few words of this song only..

Happy Days...

I can say this world is so small.. You never know where you are heading towards as there are lot of twists and turns as you find on the road but the difference is that on road you can see them and in life you can feel them..

A 5 months back i was having a dream to go Onsite.. and in 5 months i have got my return date to India.. and yeah its not that i dont want to stay here more as Onsite give us a lot of  knowledge plus money but somewhere i just feeling that 5 months are more than enough may be in future i will get more opportunities but just missing India.. These 4 months I spend was a good period for me.. learned lot of things and in that duration some friends become best friends and that i too dont know how it happened but it happened... :)

Now in a month i will be back to India, really when i used to think this, its give me happiness.. lot of things i have to do.. want to see lot of people.. yeah really lot of and some closed one too in that lot of peoples.. and thought of meeting to them make me excited.. ..

But other than that there is other part of life where i have to search for a new project, have to look where i have to take a room now in NCR.... These are things which make me feel bad and then i feel like that its better to be here and thats the moment where our mind swings.... and never able to take a rest at some position.. because when i am thinking of these negatives at that moment those positive moments start to coming in my mind and then i again lost in my dreamlands :)

And nautanki boy( this word surely going to make laugh 2-3 people) like me never know what to do... To feel good or bad but in the last i feel that i am more happy than sad!!!

And anyways i just read one blog today and that blog main theme was Love yourself. So according to me for loving yourself you need to be happy and i Love myself that i know.. so it means i am HAPPY!!!!!!!!

Random!!!!

Just noticed that a month before i wrote something, anyways a very usual month for me..

Enjoyed the deewali festival and rest of the month went in discussing and talking with friends that what to do next.

New project?? New company??? or something else?? Lot of things to be answered  and that too by me but still myself searching for the answers.. In my inner heart i know what will be my next step but may be still i am not sure about that and due to that i am feeling hesitate to share with anyone as person whom i can share are busy or may be dont have time for me :)

Still i say i have learned alot in this month and people say at each moment of your life, you learned something and just before i start writing this blog, i was talking to one of my friend and from my frnd's way of talk also i able to learn something and will try to change myself according to that.

Learned lot of things here technically but become expert in food making... Atleast onsite visit make a cook out of You!!!


Bye... Happy Deewali to all of you.. Keep Smiling!!!!

Unexpected and Sad!!!!!

Lot of unexpected things happen with you which just shock you, same happened with us..

We heard something in the afternoon which just make us feeling bad.. Nearly all my colleagues including me feeling like something bad happened with us.. Its like some bad thing has killed our family (i think BT has become family for all of US)..

In last 2 years, I had made so many good friends in this project, i learned lot of things from them.. yeah some or in other way there are lot of people whom i used to hate but those people are very few in compare to whom i love and with whom i can spend my whole day but now when i will return to India i don't know with whom i have to interact and how they will behave with me. This type of feeling you cant describe in words but i think may be i am wrong but all my colleagues somewhere in there heart is feeling little bit of pinch.. and yeah it HURTS!!!!


And then in the evening when i was just saying final bye to Aayushi, its like a very bad or i can say sad moment for me.. i was just feeling bad due to all these things happened all over the day and then saying a final bye to a friend whom i was talking to so much in last 3 months.. All types of chit chat, all types of controversial things, discussing about the nature of all the people, it used to be so fun and i will miss that. When i was coming to Ipswich, it was always in mind that she will be there and atleast i have some friend whom i can talk and share what i am feeling but with the time all things have to be changed and finally she is going back to India...


A very bad day indeed!!!!!!!!

What i want???

Sometimes unspoken words hurt more than the spoken words..

Sometimes you know someone is lying to you but still you are pretending that you are believing him or her.

And all the false faces or happy faces you make infront of someone to realize that person you are happy,i find worthless sometimes...

I feel World is so small and when you do bad to others then you have to do something right else your bad deeds will never leave you and indirectly or directly it will harm you.

I have always try my best to remain warm with people, always try to make people laugh with my bad jokes... I dont care i am feeling bad or sad from inside but i always just try my best not to show this thing to anyone..

But sometimes i just pissed offf with myself.. Mainly i used to love myself but sometimes i just started to hate myself... At that time i started to think what should i do... should i become a silent dull faced boring guy.... started to keep my mouth shut.. then i feel its my life.. and i should live this life with my rules and i will live it in that way....

Strange things about Ankur....

I am just trying to find about me...

I am sitting on my couch and trying to analyse myself.. Heard lot of comments from people about my nature but no one knows the actual AB....

Some say i am caring,good,nice, awsome as a friend, organised, have no tension in life,mannered.. and the other says i am very complicated,careless, talkative,emotionless,not organised and bla bla...

I thought sometimes is it??? I have two face or just people cant able to understand me..Or just they have made my image that he belongs to this category..

But what i am nobody knows or just few people knows who are very close to me...

I have idea that one person knows me very well.. i dont know how but that person can guess anything and that too correctly what is running in my mind...

And if i talk about my traits then they are very simple..  I am a joker who can make anybody laugh.. i respect all d people or their feelings.. i just change myself according to people.. so i can able to mix up with all.. i show that i am not at all caring but i care alot if you mean to me.. and with all the emotions.. and sometimes if i am feeling bad or hurt but i always show that i am in good state coz i never show anybody that i am sad...i am not at all lazy :)

And if i talk about my bad traits then the list is so long that this page will not be sufficient :)

I am a bad boy(n i love that).. i am very talkative.. sometimes i irritate people very much(but those who are very close to me).. sometimes not able to read ppl very easily... i make frnds very quickly n have lot of faith on them and due to that got ditched so many times....i can keep cool till very long but once when i started to say thn i am very difficult to stop and can make my good frnds crying(very bad thing about me )... To be Contd.. :)

Again when i am writing this i am showing that i am complicated but its not complication it is different thing.. i just dont want to write some things which make others feel bad.. coz sometimes my comment are very harsh.. and it very bad of me.. i am trying to become more positive in my talks :)

But i love what i am..

So hate me or love me but i always love ME!!!!!!