Unexpected and Sad!!!!!

Lot of unexpected things happen with you which just shock you, same happened with us..

We heard something in the afternoon which just make us feeling bad.. Nearly all my colleagues including me feeling like something bad happened with us.. Its like some bad thing has killed our family (i think BT has become family for all of US)..

In last 2 years, I had made so many good friends in this project, i learned lot of things from them.. yeah some or in other way there are lot of people whom i used to hate but those people are very few in compare to whom i love and with whom i can spend my whole day but now when i will return to India i don't know with whom i have to interact and how they will behave with me. This type of feeling you cant describe in words but i think may be i am wrong but all my colleagues somewhere in there heart is feeling little bit of pinch.. and yeah it HURTS!!!!


And then in the evening when i was just saying final bye to Aayushi, its like a very bad or i can say sad moment for me.. i was just feeling bad due to all these things happened all over the day and then saying a final bye to a friend whom i was talking to so much in last 3 months.. All types of chit chat, all types of controversial things, discussing about the nature of all the people, it used to be so fun and i will miss that. When i was coming to Ipswich, it was always in mind that she will be there and atleast i have some friend whom i can talk and share what i am feeling but with the time all things have to be changed and finally she is going back to India...


A very bad day indeed!!!!!!!!

What i want???

Sometimes unspoken words hurt more than the spoken words..

Sometimes you know someone is lying to you but still you are pretending that you are believing him or her.

And all the false faces or happy faces you make infront of someone to realize that person you are happy,i find worthless sometimes...

I feel World is so small and when you do bad to others then you have to do something right else your bad deeds will never leave you and indirectly or directly it will harm you.

I have always try my best to remain warm with people, always try to make people laugh with my bad jokes... I dont care i am feeling bad or sad from inside but i always just try my best not to show this thing to anyone..

But sometimes i just pissed offf with myself.. Mainly i used to love myself but sometimes i just started to hate myself... At that time i started to think what should i do... should i become a silent dull faced boring guy.... started to keep my mouth shut.. then i feel its my life.. and i should live this life with my rules and i will live it in that way....

Strange things about Ankur....

I am just trying to find about me...

I am sitting on my couch and trying to analyse myself.. Heard lot of comments from people about my nature but no one knows the actual AB....

Some say i am caring,good,nice, awsome as a friend, organised, have no tension in life,mannered.. and the other says i am very complicated,careless, talkative,emotionless,not organised and bla bla...

I thought sometimes is it??? I have two face or just people cant able to understand me..Or just they have made my image that he belongs to this category..

But what i am nobody knows or just few people knows who are very close to me...

I have idea that one person knows me very well.. i dont know how but that person can guess anything and that too correctly what is running in my mind...

And if i talk about my traits then they are very simple..  I am a joker who can make anybody laugh.. i respect all d people or their feelings.. i just change myself according to people.. so i can able to mix up with all.. i show that i am not at all caring but i care alot if you mean to me.. and with all the emotions.. and sometimes if i am feeling bad or hurt but i always show that i am in good state coz i never show anybody that i am sad...i am not at all lazy :)

And if i talk about my bad traits then the list is so long that this page will not be sufficient :)

I am a bad boy(n i love that).. i am very talkative.. sometimes i irritate people very much(but those who are very close to me).. sometimes not able to read ppl very easily... i make frnds very quickly n have lot of faith on them and due to that got ditched so many times....i can keep cool till very long but once when i started to say thn i am very difficult to stop and can make my good frnds crying(very bad thing about me )... To be Contd.. :)

Again when i am writing this i am showing that i am complicated but its not complication it is different thing.. i just dont want to write some things which make others feel bad.. coz sometimes my comment are very harsh.. and it very bad of me.. i am trying to become more positive in my talks :)

But i love what i am..

So hate me or love me but i always love ME!!!!!!

My new passion : COOKING

I can't believe I've developed a keen interest in COOKING.

I mean cooking of all type of dishes plus rotis also...

I am particularly thankful to my this UK trip so i get a chance o visit more time in kitchen and able to find my new passion, initially when i used to cook i just used to hate this but now i am love doing this :)

Yesterday i made pyaz ke paranthe and paneer ki sabji and it was delicious.

I am really started to enjoy cooking and now want to increase my scope of cooking plus also want to add some different taste in my recipes.

Till now i have made variety of dishes, some of them are aalo ki sabji, bhindi, egg curry,shahi paneer,matar paneer,chole,rajma,different types of pulao,matar gobhi,poha..and many more!!!

I suddenly feel like there is sooooo much to learn... so much to discover.. so much to explore.... so much to enjoy.....

I suddenly feel the urge to awaken my taste buds... My newfound passion for cooking... I am just feeling happy due to this.. may be...and I'm SURPRISED!!!!!

Now i am planning to make pav-bhaji and dalmakhni next week :)

I hope this passion brings me long term fulfillment and doesn't fizzle out...

Confession!!!!!

Why i am feeling like this today or from last one week???

I just want to confess what i had done in this week but i dont know infront of whom i can told all these things....

Sometime i laugh when sitting alone, sometimes i feel bad and sometimes i just feel good with the news i heard from some of my friends..

I had done something bad but i dont know how that happened but mistake was mine..

And i want someone to listen to me but i am not finding anyone who can listen to my that bakwas..

Life is so strange that you think you have 100 friends but still you need one!!!!